Mood Swings or called it What in our Thoughts?

Do you ever have had this experience before that one moment you are happy and the next you are not, or vice visa. Probably much of the happiness or unhappiness comes from the situations that we face at that moment. Or it could be the contents of our thoughts that affect our emotions and therefore, change our temperament according to what we perceived from the external situation?

So if I could govern my thoughts to think not of the sad, dark or anything that is not happy, despite of the unwelcoming situations, would I remain unaffected and stay happy? I guess it does help to some extent.

A good friend once told me this. When one is put into a really bad situation, instead of panic, the best thing one should be thinking is, what could be the worst situation that you that you could face and then face it boldly. Things are not really as bad as you think. For example, you couldn’t complete the report to be submitted by next week. Instead of worrying, face the situation wisely. Speak to the boss/ lecturer. Well, probably, the worst scenario is to face the music from the boss/ lecturer. Get fired? Probably, not so. Sometimes, we complicate things with our thoughts. Situations could be very simple.

That is, think of what is the worst scenario you could face! When you are come to terms with it, the less affected you would be.

Today, I went to visit my friend, D’s Dad, who has cancer of the pancrease @ Alexandra Hospital.

Together with my husband, Gerald, we prayed for our friend and his dad, on our long burning afternoon journey by bus. Wonder if Gerald didn’t had his 8^th year temperamental car stripped and we probably wouldn’t have to adapt back to public transport.

Talked about the scorching weather, plus the bus’s air-con was so weak… in a matter of seconds both of us eventually snoozed off. Only to wake up and realized we have missed our stop. Gosh! And I even slept with my mouth wide opened! So embarrassing!!

I guess Gerald was too tired after his shift work and without taking his much needed
rest, immediately joined me for the visitation. Poor boy!

Without hesistation, we took a cab to the hospital. Alas, I am such a spoilt and pampered for good transportation! :p

At the hospital, we saw D’s dad with tubes running through his nostrils. He is on dripped, as he could not eat much after the chemotherapy. D would treasure every moment when his dad is awake, by thanking his dad at his bed side, of all the good and even bad things that his dad had ever done to him. D also shared of what he would do if his dad could live another 1- 2 years. My heart melted when I heard this. So many hearts felt thanks unspoken of. Blame it on the way of our Chinese culture, not daring to be expressive of showing love and affection.

Indeed, D’s right. There is nothing to hold back when death is near. What is death then? Is it a cruel awakening? Or is it a call for being true to oneself?

I wonder, is death really that scary? To my opinion it is, when many obligations are left undone or even unspoken.

We prayed together for D’s Dad. We prayed for God’s grace and mercy be upon his life and that he will taste of God’s goodness in this life time. Oh, God, do have mercy on him and I do pray for miracle to happen… D will be able to fulfill his obligation and wishes for his dad. Most importantly, to reconcile with your precious son – Jesus Christ, by putting his trust in you and not on oneself.

“ You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.”
~ Psalms 39:5

So what is life and death all about?

I went back home pondering and then Molly came to my mind. She was a brave lady that I read in a magazine, called vanilla, while waiting for my ear check-up in E&T. I was pretty much dishearten and inward looking at that moment, till I read about Molly, despite of her struggles, braved with much joys… and that inner strength she had, which I couldn’t explain. I concluded that it must be her strength in God.

I didn’t know that she had gone to be in the heavenly place, till I checked on her blog today. Though I had never read any of her blog before, she had left a very deep impression that day when I read of her in the magazine. I was telling myself to check on her website, but slipped my mind.

After reading her blog, I cried. I cried because this world had taken away one more example of comforting, to demonstrate how to brave the storms by overlooking and starting to give of oneself. I could never be like her, so brave and intelligent. Then my tears became joy, cos I know that her struggle was never in vain. In fact, this wonderwoman haven’t leave this world. Her valuable legacy is here to stay. A legacy that would last for a life time. I’m so grateful to God for her and her family support.

Through my friend, D and also this wonderwoman, Molly (whom I missed the chance of sending her a comment that I was much encouraged by her attitude towards life), I have learnt some important lessons in life.

1) Never leave any unspoken thanks to anyone that you have cross-path with.

2) Be open to show affection to your love ones. Don’t wait, don’t be shy!

3) It’s how you live that counts and not how you die. Everyone dies one day.

“…unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” ~ John 12:24

I see this in Molly’s life example. I believe she has transformed many into courageous wonderwomen.

4) “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” ~ Matthew 10:28

Death is not so scary when you know who is ultimately in control (God) and where you put your hope in life is important too.

I hope when it's my turn to face death, I’d be ready. With nothing to hold back and nothing to loose… only my breath, till I face my God.

Then how about facing death of my beloved ones? Am I ready?
Answer: I must do much more…to show more affection to my parents. To be mindful to thank them of the things they have done for me. Oh, no…I don’t think I will ever be ready to face this. How come? Is it because love can
never be measured up to any quality? But till now, I know that I must not withhold my expression of love to my beloved ones.

Death is truly a call for not only a health check, but a calling for readiness to die to self ego, pride, inwardness, and to start being true to self, loving like it's the last day.